Post 52:
“May We Make Them Proud”

From 13-Year-Old Anne’s Journal —

April 18 – GOOD

Part One:
“Albert and Clay want to smoke. The pipe starts a fire in the basement. Everyone in the blindschool is saved except Mrs. Garvey and Adam Jr. (baby). Mary is in a “trace” from shock and Mr. Garvey is drinking.” (continued)

April 19 – FAIR

Part Two:
“Albert buys this music box and it breaks Mary out of it. Then they all figure it out and Albert is on the run. They catch him and he’s forgiven. They donate the new school to Alice & Adam Jr.”

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From Anne —

Crispy baby! You’d expect no less from our beloved Little House. Yep, Albert and friends hit the corncob crack pipe, toss it off in the basement, and next thing you know, flames. Flames from hell. Which fry Mary’s tot. Along with poor Alice Garvey.

Since there’s no insurance on the prairie, and no mental health centers either, you’ve got Albert exploding with guilt, Mary full-tilt wiggy with PTSD, and Jonathan Garvey downing whiskey for breakfast. Throw in the random plotline involving Albert’s dead real dad, and you’ve got a barrel of fun.

Can you tell my sarcasm is only a defense mechanism? Second only to “Sylvia,” “May We Make Them Proud,” as this double-whammy episode is titled, is as wicked and sadistic as any episode in the LHOP TV canon. Crispy. Baby.

One thing is certain: this death and property destruction is all God’s fault (and Michael Landon’s, who wrote and directed).

In the long run, the trance-busting music box Albert gives Mary, and a lot of man-hugs (Charles, Albert, Jonathan), make it better. But, damn, this is rough stuff.  A la Mary, it makes me want to punch my hand through a glass pane.

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From Tracy —

Isn’t it amazing how flammable calico is? I can’t even start a campfire but one pipe later and poof! This episode is special to me because Anne and I sat and watched it . . . and writhed and cringed together. Which led to some funny and totally inappropriate commentary like:

“Hey! The blind school has a toilet! How posh!!”

“For fuck’s sake don’t touch the door!”

“Oh for double fuck’s sake don’t open the door!”

“Grab the baby Mary!”

“Wow. It’s really good that both parents are blind.”

“Couldn’t they just give Mary another baby . . . an orphan? It’s not like she would know, right?”

“Sometimes Michael Landon can be creepy as fuck.”

“The new blind school plaque needs to be in braille!”

And last but not least . . .

And oh the joys of Anne’s High Def TV! I had no idea Doc Baker’s teeth were so crooked until seeing them in this “new fangled” format.

And once again my memory fails me. I completely forgot all about Mary breaking windows.

Charles isn’t his sensitive best in this episode with his sputterings about “new fangled psychiatrists.”

And how come they never ever go to a big city for medical care like Minnesota or say Rochester where the MAYO CLINIC (hello people!) got its start in 1889. But no . . . let’s go to Mankato or some other godforsaken shithole.

Also, Albert can’t handle even handle a pipe so now let’s go buy him a gun? Nooope nope N-O!

Finally, Nellie is completely wasted in this show! She just gets yelled at and ordered around.

So what happened to Labyorteaux you ask? Well he’s still super cute and has aged the best of all the male Little House cast members — IMHO:

Also it looks like you can get away with posting an entire LHOP episode if you put it in a fish tank. Weird and wonderful:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_1C7m9meBU

And then what would this post without the “30-Second Little House” version: